This Always Surprises My Clients. Who Forgets About Brownies?
/My clients are often surprised—if not shocked—to discover they have forgotten about a food that once felt like it had so much power over them.
Their experiences sound something like this:
I can’t believe I forgot about the cookies in my cupboard! That’s never happened before.
My favorite chips actually went stale before I finished them. Typically, I'd fixate on them and eat the entire bag right away.
The chocolate in my pantry no longer calls for me all day long. I rarely think about it!
Shockingly, I found a pint of ice cream in my freezer that I totally forgot about!
I can’t believe the bread went moldy. It’s never lasted long enough to do that before.
I was so surprised to find a half-eaten candy bar in my bag that I bought a few weeks ago.
This doesn’t happen because my clients are just really forgetful people.
It happens because they started giving themselves unconditional permission to eat.
Food Loses Its Power
Feeling obsessed with or controlled by food is not a sign of weakness or a lack of willpower and self-discipline. It’s a natural outcome of dieting and deprivation.
When you give yourself unconditional permission to eat what you want when you want, food—especially your forbidden foods—loses its power.
The more you eat a forbidden food and trust that you can have it when you want it (assuming you have access to it and no dietary restrictions*), the more its allure and charge wears off.
The food becomes neutral. It’s no longer a big deal.
You enjoy it when you want it and forget about it when you don’t.
Mel's Brownie Story
Here's how my client Mel describes her experience...
“In the past, if my partner made a pan of brownies, I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on work knowing they were on the counter. In fact, I'd sneak into the kitchen multiple times a day to shave a little off the row hoping no one would notice.
Now that I'm letting myself eat sweets whenever I want them and without telling myself I'm being bad or that I have to make up for it by going on a diet or working out more, I don't even think about the brownies until I'm ready to enjoy them with my family. Sometimes, I even forget we have them!
The experience is so much more satisfying because I no longer feel obsessed, powerless and out of control."
Won’t Work for Me
It’s completely understandable if you have doubts that this could ever be true for you, especially if you have a long history of dieting and a long list of forbidden foods, food rules and food fears.
My new clients look at me in disbelief when I share stories like these. They can’t imagine it for themselves.
Inevitably, as they make peace with food and trust nothing is off-limits, they are pleasantly surprised that they, too, no longer feel obsessed with, distracted by or controlled by food.
My clients don’t have any magical powers.
What they do have is a deep desire to have a more liberating, satisfying and peaceful relationship with food accompanied by a steadfast commitment to doing the often hard, messy work needed to attain it.
*Of course, a food may need to be off-limits due to a medical condition, such as a peanut allergy or celiac disease. Some people find that if this is the case, they have little to no desire to consume the food due to the potential negative health consequences. However, this isn’t always easy and if it’s something you struggle with, I recommend seeking support from an Intuitive Eating-informed counselor, therapist, registered dietitian or nutritionist.
