A Winter Coat Didn't Spoil Halloween. Diet Culture Did.

When I was eight, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. I’ll never forget what a bummer it was to have to wear my winter coat over my sparkly costume because it was too cold to go trick-or-treating without one. 

I got over my disappointment pretty quickly once I realized my concealed costume didn’t prevent me from collecting candy from all the houses in my neighborhood.

When I got home, I immediately tore off my tiara (made from a Burger King crown) and dumped my bag of goodies on the family room floor. 

Like past Halloweens, I spread everything out on our brown shag carpet so I could assess my glorious haul. I then got busy creating different piles, categorizing the treats by type and preference.

Once my inventory was done, my three siblings and I traded for our favorites. I happily swapped peanut butter kisses and popcorn balls for candy bars, bubble gum and jawbreakers

Spoiled by Diet Culture
Thankfully, my childhood Halloweens weren’t spoiled by diet culture. 

No one made me trade my candy for a toy, set rules on how many pieces I was allowed to eat each day, or tossed some of my stash while I was sleeping.

Unfortunately, as I got older, diet culture did eventually invade my Halloween and every other holiday. Worried about my weight, I welcomed all the tips and tricks regarding how to be “good” and “stay on plan.”

If you’re unsure what diet culture is, here are some examples I've encountered during the Halloween season:

  • Don’t buy candy for trick-or-treaters until the day of Halloween to limit the amount of time it’s in your house. 
     

  • To avoid temptation, buy candy you don’t like. Better yet, buy stickers to hand out instead.
     

  • To prevent yourself from overindulging, avoid hanging out by the food table or candy bowl at celebrations. 
     

  • When you take your kids trick-or-treating, get in some extra steps and burn off some candy calories by walking from house to house instead of driving.
     

  • If you’re craving something sweet, reach for the fruit bowl instead of the candy bowl. 
     

  • At parties, participate in activities that make holding a plate of food challenging or wear a mask that makes eating difficult.
     

  • Get back on track the day after Halloween by cutting carbs and working out longer.
      

  • To make up for all your Halloween “sins,” plan to start a 7-day detox the day after. 

Unnecessary Suffering
Although likely intended to be helpful, diet culture messages like these can trigger a lot of fear, guilt, shame, anxiety and stress.

They made me so afraid of blowing my diet and eating “badly,” that I often chose to play it safe by opting out altogether.

The amount of harm and unnecessary suffering diet culture causes is vast, from food fears, body mistrust and weight stigma to disordered eating and exercise.

More than anything, diet culture keeps you from focusing on more meaningful, fulfilling and fun things.

Needing to wear a winter coat over your Halloween costume is definitely a bummer. A bigger bummer, however, is having your holiday spoiled by diet culture. 

Do You Trust Your Body? The Diet Industry Doesn't Want You To.

Do you trust your body?

There are various reasons why you may not trust your body. Dieting could be one of them. It certainly was for me.

When you follow a diet (this includes any plan with food rules and restrictions, regardless of what it’s called or how it’s spun), you’re handing over the reins and letting someone else dictate what and how you eat.

This is exactly what the multi-billion diet industry wants.

The people behind all the diet programs rely on your reliance on them so they work really hard to convince you that you and your body can’t be trusted, that you need them because they know better than you what your body needs.

They teach you to prioritize their external rules over your inner cues.

They cause you to disconnect from your body and deny its needs and desires.

They destroy the trust you once had in your body before you learned it was a problem to be solved. 

The thing is—no one knows your body better than you do. 

No one knows better than you when you’re hungry, how much food you need, what kind of food you need, what foods satisfy you, and how different foods feel in your body.

Give Your Power and Freedom Away
The desire to diet is completely understandable given our weight-obsessed culture with its unrealistic body standards and tendency to equate thinness with health and moral virtue.

Given our confusing, constantly changing "eat this, don't eat that" food environment, it's also completely understandable to want someone else to just tell you what to eat. 

In a way, outsourcing your eating decisions might feel freeing, especially at first. Doing so may feel like a relief, especially if you frequently agonize over what to eat.

It's important to understand, however, that although well-intentioned, when you hand your food decisions over to an external source, you’re essentially giving away your power and freedom.

As a result, you may eventually find yourself rebelling against the diet and its unsustainable requirements that disregard your body's wants and needs. 

When this happens, it's typical to view it as self-sabotage, a lack of willpower and self-discipline, and further proof that you and your body can't be trusted when it comes to food.

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

By rebelling, you’re simply trying to regain a sense of autonomy and freedom—two of the many things dieting takes away from you.

You Are the Expert
You are the expert of your own body.

Intuitive Eating helps you tap into this expertise and reconnect with your body.

It helps you rebuild the body trust you came into this world with.

It teaches you how to listen to and honor your body wisdom and how to use this innate knowledge to discern what way of eating works best for you. 

Ultimately, it empowers you to take back your power and freedom—and to fully trust yourself and your body.

My Exercise Police Ran Me Ragged. How I Finally Broke Free.

How would you describe your relationship with exercise?

Since I was a kid, I’ve loved moving my body in all sorts of ways, from riding my big wheel and playing hide-and-seek in my neighborhood to roller skating at the local rink and dancing around my family room while watching Fame

I participated on my school’s soccer, swim and volleyball teams and got my first pair of hand weights on my 15th birthday. 

I was also an aerobics fanatic for years (starting with Jane Fonda in the early 80s) before moving on to other activities like Tae Bo, spinning, hiking, pilates and yoga. 

Ran Me Ragged
During my most intense dieting years, I became obsessed with working out, especially with running. 

I pounded the pavement early every morning, meticulously tracked the miles I ran and the calories I burned, and trained nonstop for marathons. 

I ran in crappy weather, when I was hungry, ill and injured, and when I was supposed to be at work. I almost missed more than one flight because I just had to squeeze in a few more miles before I left for the airport.

While I loved running, my relationship with it at that time was extremely disordered and unhealthy. It wasn’t driven by my body’s needs but rather it was dictated by my Exercise Police, a very strict internal voice that was running me ragged.

Enforce Exercise Rules
Like your internal Food Police, the voice in your head that tries to enforce food moralism and the unreasonable food rules our diet and wellness cultures have created, your inner Exercise Police is the voice in your head that tries to enforce rules regarding what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to movement.

My Exercise Police voice was bossy, relentless and terribly fatphobic. Perhaps you can relate to some of these things it would say to me…

  • It’s not considered exercise unless you get your heart rate up or break a sweat. 

  • You must work out for at least # minutes otherwise it doesn’t count.

  • You can’t stop until you go a certain distance or time or burn a specific number of calories.

  • If you skip a workout, you need to eat less to make up for it.

  • No matter how your body is feeling, you have to do the workout you planned.

  • It’s not worth it if it doesn’t burn very many calories.

  • If you don’t work out today, you’ll have to work out twice as hard tomorrow.

  • You don’t have the right body for that sport or type of exercise.

  • If you eat “badly,” you have to work out to make up for it.

  • If you want a “bad” food, you have to work out to earn it.

  • If you don’t exercise, you’re bad, lazy, undisciplined and unhealthy.

  • If you miss one workout, you’ll lose strength and stamina and gain weight.

  • If it doesn’t result in weight loss, there’s no point in doing it.

Does any of this sound familiar? I bet you can think of some rules that aren't on this list. 

Squash Joy and Connection
Like me, when your Exercise Police voice is driving your decision-making, you may find yourself frequently ignoring the messages your body is sending you, like pain or fatigue, to adhere to your exercise rules. 

You may also find yourself feeling less motivated to move, dreading your workouts, pushing your body beyond its limits, experiencing frequent injuries, exercising when you’re sick and in perilous weather, or prioritizing exercise over friends and family.

With its very black-and-white, all-or-nothing approach to movement, your Exercise Police likely amplifies your stress rather than alleviates it, leaves you feeling depleted instead of invigorated, and makes you feel guilty and ashamed when you break a rule.

Basically, your Exercise Police sucks all the fun and joy out of movement and disconnects you from your innate body wisdom.

How to Break Free
The good news is that you can break free from your internal Exercise Police by recognizing its presence, challenging its commands, defying its rules, and giving yourself permission to experiment with other possibilities based on what feels right to you and your body.

Instead of adhering to external rules, plans or authorities when it comes to movement (and eating!), listen to your internal cues. This means checking in with your body and honoring what it truly needs and desires.

Perhaps it’s gentle stretching instead of a fast-paced yoga class, a relaxing walk versus a vigorous run, or a kitchen dance party rather than a boot camp workout. 

Or maybe it’s a rest day, a soak in the tub, or a nap!

Intuitive Movement
Asking yourself the following questions can help move you toward a more intuitive, flexible, balanced and enjoyable relationship with movement.

  • What does my body truly need and desire right now?

  • Why am I doing this? What’s my motivation and does it align with my values?   

  • If this activity had zero capacity to decrease my weight, would I still do it?

  • How is this movement making me feel?

  • Does this feel kind and respectful to my body?

  • Does this feel pleasurable or punitive?

  • Is this alleviating or amplifying my stress?

  • Is this energizing or exhausting me?

  • What would a more flexible, balanced approach look like?

  • Am I having fun right now? If not, what would be more fun?

Questions like these helped me transform my relationship with movement and continue to be a source of support whenever my Exercise Police voice tries to take control and enforce its rules. Yes, just like my Food Police voice, after all these years it still occasionally pops up.

Beware of Exercise Moralism
Despite what our diet, wellness and fitness cultures want us to believe, exercise isn’t a moral obligation. 

How you choose to move your body, including choosing to not exercise at all, isn’t a reflection of your moral character. It's also important to keep in mind that it's a privilege to even have a choice.

Just like with food, your exercise choices do not make you a good or bad, superior or inferior person.

What matters most is that you honor what works the best for you and feels the best for your body.

Sadly, it took me many years and multiple injuries before I was willing to admit that my relationship with exercise—and my body—needed to change. 

I’m grateful I finally did the hard work required to break free from my Exercise Police and all its harmful rules as doing so improved almost every aspect of my life. 

It also restored the sense of ease, freedom and fun I experienced with movement when I was a kid—but not the desire to somersault down a hill again!