I’ve Wasted So Much Time Thinking About Food and My Body

I’ve wasted so much time thinking about food and my body!

Does this sound familiar?

If so, you’re not alone.

It’s a frustration expressed by many of my clients. One I can really relate to as well.

Years ago, when I was determined to change my diet and weight, a huge chunk of my time, energy and headspace went toward obsessing about my body, eating and exercise.

Countless days and nights were spent online researching weight-loss strategies, dieting tricks, healthy eating tips, and fat-burning workouts.

I wasted many minutes meticulously tracking calories consumed and burned (this was before all the fancy gadgets and apps that now do the math for you) then judging myself as either good or bad depending upon my bottom line.

I fretted away hours thinking about how to avoid social situations that could potentially tempt me with forbidden foods and cause me to lose control.

I was consumed by intense cravings for my off-limits foods and depleted from exerting so much eating restraint.

I was often swept away by the shame spiral I felt when I fell off the wagon then was distracted strategizing how I could make up for my food sins.

Incessant Noise in My Head
No matter where I was at or who I was with, I constantly thought about how my body looked, the number on the scale, what I should or shouldn’t be eating, and what my next meal and workout would look like.

This incessant noise in my head prevented me from truly being engaged with life and present for those around me.

My preoccupation with my weight, food and exercise pretty much became a 24x7 job.

I had very little left to give to the much more important aspects of my life, like my relationships, social life, career, spirituality and hobbies.

I truly believed obtaining the perfect diet and body would enrich my life. When, in reality, it sucked all the life out of it.

Tired of Wasting My Life
After a lot of unnecessary suffering, I finally reached a point where I didn’t want to waste my life anymore being held hostage by my diet mentality, anti-fat bias, and long list of exercise and food rules.

Instead of devoting all my precious resources to micromanaging my eating and manipulating my size, I devoted them to breaking up with diet culture and healing the deep wounds it had caused.

With commitment, compassion and patience, I was able to cultivate a peaceful, balanced relationship with food and my body.

In doing so, I freed up an incredible amount of time, energy and headspace for more meaningful, fulfilling pursuits, including helping others escape diet culture and reclaim their life.

What Freedom Looks Like
Here’s how a few of my clients lives have changed:

“I fell back in love with reading, inhaling 23 fiction and nonfiction books across 3 months. My attention span has strengthened, and I've noticed I can sit quietly during movies and thoughtful conversations and go hours without thinking about food.

Most importantly, my husband and sister mention repeatedly how thankful they are that I regained space in my mind to keep their needs equal with mine, allowing them to lean on me in hard times (vs. years of non-stop obsession and talking about my weight, diet and fitness).” –Ellen C. (who has since also enrolled in a creative writing course)

“Since I don’t obsess over food anymore, it’s not constantly on my mind, which has allowed me to focus my energy on other things, like work, relationships and being active. I used to stress about food all the time and now I hardly think about it. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.” –Natalie F.

“I’m more relaxed, happier and focused on enjoying my life rather than the continual weight and diet issues that consumed me prior to doing this work.” –Jennifer S.

How Would Your Life Change?
With all the New Year’s resolution talk about diets, detoxes, reboots and resets, it’s understandably very tempting to jump on the bandwagon.

Before you do, consider if it will truly help you create the relationship with food and your body you long for.

If you feel like you already waste a lot of time and energy obsessing about your eating, workouts and weight, know that engaging with a diet/wellness/lifestyle plan that includes food rules, dietary restrictions and exercise regimens will only exacerbate your preoccupation.

I encourage you to pause and ask yourself: Is this how I want to spend my precious resources? How would my life change if I didn’t spend so much time and energy thinking about this stuff? What would be possible?

Wishing you peace, love and joy in 2020!

Do You Struggle with Nighttime Snacking?

Do you struggle with nighttime snacking?

If yes, you’re not alone. 

Many people find themselves rummaging through their fridge or cupboards an hour or two after dinner in search of something to nosh on.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating at any time of day or night, it’s helpful to pause and check your intentions so you can ensure your needs are truly being met.

What Are You Really Hungry For?
We rarely snack at night because we’re physically hungry. If you are, by all means, eat whatever your body needs!

There are always exquisitely good reasons for eating. Although it may not seem like it, nighttime snacking is a way of taking care of ourselves. More often than not, we’re trying to nourish a psychological or emotional hunger.

Rather than chocolate, ice cream, cookies or chips (let’s face it, very few of us snack on an apple or carrots at 9 p.m.), here are some things we might really be hungry for:

• Pleasure: Food, especially sweets, provides a quick hit of pleasure, something we crave when we don’t experience enough pleasure during our daytime hours (e.g., unfulfilling work).
  

• Relief: Most of us move through our days pretty wound up. Eating offers a temporary respite from the stressors of our daily lives. Creamy foods, in particular, ease anxiety, which is one reason why ice cream is such a popular nighttime treat.
  

• Grounding: Our busy lives can leave us feeling overextended and overwhelmed. The act of eating is very grounding; it's a way to center ourselves when we feel scattered.
  

• Companionship: Although we’re more connected than ever before thanks to technology, many of us feel quite lonely. When loneliness creeps in at night, we can always rely on food to hang out with us and distract us from our uncomfortable feelings.
  

• Energy: Because we operate in overdrive throughout our day, most of us are completely wiped out and depleted come nightfall. Food, especially sugar, is a fast and easy way to boost our energy.
  

• Satisfaction: When we don’t get much satisfaction from our meals, perhaps because we’ve eliminated foods we enjoy, eat while multitasking, or rush through a meal, we will naturally seek more food later in an attempt to satisfy our taste buds.  
  

• Me Time: Whether at work or home, many of us spend our days taking care of other people’s needs. Enjoying a nighttime snack, once everyone else is tucked in or logged off, is something special we do just for ourselves.

What Will Truly Meet Your Needs?
If you want to bring more mindfulness to your late-night noshing habits, understanding why you do what you do is the first step.

With compassion and curiosity, ask yourself:

What need am I trying to meet with this food?

Will this food truly meet this need?

If not, how might I better fulfill this need?

For example, say you reach for chocolate throughout the night because you’re pleasure deficient. How can you bring more pleasure into your life? Is it as small as reading a good book or taking a post-dinner walk with a pal or as big as changing careers? 

Or, perhaps you dive into a bag of chips because you feel overtaxed and burned out. How can you simplify your life? Can you hire a housecleaner, set work boundaries like not checking email after 6 p.m., or say “no” to others and opportunities more often? (Remember, saying “no” often means saying “yes” to yourself.)

Maybe you’ve identified that you’re seeking an energy boost, something to alleviate your depleted state. If this is the case, you’ll likely benefit more from hitting the hay than raiding the cookie jar.

Deprivation Backlash
If your day includes depriving yourself of what you really want to eat (e.g., ordering a light salad instead of a hearty sandwich) and/or restricting the amount and type of food you eat (e.g., counting calories, cutting carbs), your urge to snack all night is not due to a lack of willpower or discipline.

It’s a compensatory reaction; your body’s natural response to physical and psychological deprivation. The more you ignore your body’s needs and desires, the bigger the backlash and binge.

When you allow yourself to eat what and however much you want throughout your day, you’ll likely feel less compelled to snack the night away.

Please Keep in Mind…
It’s perfectly okay to eat when you’re not hungry, including for emotional reasons. Sometimes, a bowl of ice cream is exactly what you need.

What to Eat When You're Feeling Scattered, Gloomy or Moody

My client Julie once arrived at her session feeling very unsettled and overwhelmed due to her recent apartment move. I sent her away with a seemingly unconventional prescription for sweet potatoes. She ate some that night and immediately felt more grounded.
 
More Than Fuel
Food is far more than just fuel. We tend to think of it in terms of nutrients, calories, good or bad. How often do you consider its energetic quality?
 
All food has unique energetic properties that affect your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. When, where and how it's grown, raised, produced or prepared determines its essential character and the energy it imparts.
 
By understanding food energetics, you can prepare balance-restoring meals based on the energy particular foods create in your body.
 
Let's take a look at vegetables.
 
Plant Prescriptions
The direction a vegetable grows can impart the same qualities in you when consuming it. Here are a few plant prescriptions for when you're feeling...
 
Scattered or Overstimulated
Root Vegetables: Because they grow in the ground, root vegetables like carrots, sweet potatoes, turnips, parsnips and beets have a strong downward energy. Eating these hearty vegetables can help you feel more focused, anchored and grounded.
 
Gloomy or Tense
Dark Leafy Greens: Kale, Swiss chard, collard greens, beet greens and other dark leafy greens grow upward collecting energy from the sun. Eating these chlorophyll-rich foods infuses your blood with oxygen, ultimately boosting your mood and spirits.

Light and cleansing, they also supply your body with flexible energy and remove physical and emotional toxins literally helping you lighten up.
 
Moody or Erratic Energy
Squashes and Gourds: To maintain an even keel, eat veggies that grow at ground level like butternut squash, spaghetti squash, pumpkin and edible gourds. These can help steady your mood and energy level.
 
You Are What You Eat
A food's life force directly impacts your quality of life. By selecting foods based on their energetic qualities, you can better nourish not only your body but also your soul.