My Summer Reading List

I’m an avid reader and love losing myself in a good book. 

My reading list is long, and I usually have three different books going at any given moment so I can easily turn to whichever one I’m in the mood for.

Following are a few books regarding diet and wellness cultures, disordered eating, anti-fat bias, body liberation and more that I’m excited to dive into this summer. Perhaps you will be, too.

Please note, I’ve provided links to Amazon but also encourage folks to buy from their favorite independent bookseller or to check out books from their local library.

Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture
Virginia Sole-Smith
This New York Times best seller "exposes the daily onslaught of fatphobia and body shaming that kids face" and offers strategies for navigating our harmful diet culture and weight-stigmatizing world.

Whether or not you have kids, if you’re desiring anti-diet, fat-positive content, I recommend checking out this book as well as Sole-Smith's Burnt Toast newsletter, podcast and online community.

The Wellness Trap: Break Free from Diet Culture, Disinformation and Dubious Diagnosis and Find Your True Well-Being
Christy Harrison
When I had an unhealthy obsession with healthy eating, I rarely questioned anything I heard and read. If I had been taught, by resources such as this book, to view diet and wellness content through a more critical lens (e.g., Is this fad evidence-based? How solid is the research behind this claim?), I would have saved myself a lot of time, money and unnecessary suffering.

I'm also a big fan of Harrison's first book, Anti-Diet, and recommend it as a great place to start if you're new to this world. 

The Body Liberation Project: How Understanding Racism and Diet Culture Helps Cultivate Joy and Build Collective Freedom
Chrissy King
Through a combination of memoir, cultural analysis, exercises and prompts, King guides her readers on an exploration of how racism intersects with the diet, wellness and fitness industries and urges us to aim for body liberation instead of body positivity.

What’s Eating Us: Women, Food, and the Epidemic of Body Anxiety
Cole Kazdin 
Weaving together her personal story with investigative reporting, Kazdin examines how disordered eating has become both normalized and encouraged in our appearance-obsessed, weight-stigmatizing culture and how our flawed treatment systems can hinder recovery.

Recent Reads
I want to also mention two books I’ve recently read that I also recommend: Weightless and Reclaiming Body Trust.

Virtual Book Club, Anyone?
I relish talking to others about the books we’re reading and am considering starting a virtual book club to discuss important works like these. If this sounds like something you'd like to participate in, I’d love to hear from you.

Note: In alliance with the fat-acceptance community, I use fat as a neutral descriptor.

What I Ate When My Heart Was Broken

Many years ago, I went through a devasting breakup. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and drop-kicked to the moon.

I was flattened by a level of sadness and depression I had never experienced before. I cried for weeks. My body felt weighed down by grief.

As a result, I lost much of my appetite and my desire to cook. 

My partner and I loved cooking together and the thought of doing it solo was just too painful. 

Very little sounded appealing and I couldn’t stomach anything fresh. 

The only foods that felt tolerable and manageable were buttered pasta and peanut-butter toast, plus banana bread muffins and chocolate chip cookies from a local bakery.

For weeks, these foods comforted me when little else could. They helped me survive one of the hardest, darkest times of my life. 

What I Needed
Despite being deeply entrenched in diet culture and obsessed with controlling my weight at the time, which sadly played a role in the breakup, I’m grateful I let myself eat foods I typically restricted.

Of course, there was a part of me—my inner Food Police—that made me feel bad about my eating. However, it wasn’t as strong as the part of me that desperately wanted to ease my suffering. 

Although my chosen foods didn’t erase my sadness or grief, they did help sustain me. They gave me the emotional comfort and physical energy I needed to make it through each day. 

Demonized by Diet Culture
Despite its tremendous power to soothe, diet culture has demonized comfort food. 

It has taught us to feel bad, guilty, weak or ashamed when we turn to it to navigate tough times. 

As a result, we often feel we have to justify our desires, hide our eating, and make up for our “food sins.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. 

Rightful Coping Tool
Turning to food to self-soothe is a natural human behavior, one we do from the day we’re born.

Its ability to soothe our mind, body, heart and soul is something to embrace and celebrate. 

Providing comfort is just one of the many roles it plays in our lives, one of the many ways it meets our needs, and one of the many gifts it gives us.

For many of us, food is an easily accessible coping mechanism—one that has a rightful place in our emotional coping toolkit.

Compassion and Curiosity
My “heartbreak diet” didn’t last forever. I eventually added in more foods and made my way back to cooking. 

I’ve had much tougher, sadder times since that breakup and it’s been interesting to see how each experience has impacted my eating.

Because I’ve worked hard to make peace with food and my body—something that was spurred on by that breakup—I’m now able to observe what I’m experiencing with compassion and curiosity rather than criticism and judgment.

And I appreciate all the more the power of food to comfort. 

I Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Food

How would you describe your relationship with food?

When I ask people this question, one of the most frequent answers I get is “I have a love-hate relationship with food.”

Some other common responses include:

• Bad

• Complicated

• Obsessive

• Unhealthy

• Stressful

• Guilt-ridden

• Difficult

• All-or-nothing

• Controlling

• Compulsive

• Anxiety-filled

• Unsatisfying

• Negative

• Judgmental

• Fearful

• Punitive

Do any of these descriptors resonate with you?

I See It Differently Now
Many years ago, when I was restricting my eating in an effort to lose weight and be a "clean eater," I probably would have described my relationship with food as good, healthy, disciplined. 

As I was so entrenched in diet and wellness cultures, I couldn’t see how disordered my eating had become. I thought I was being good, doing the right thing. 

This belief was often reinforced by many of the people around me, who often praised my eating. I don’t blame them; we live in a culture that normalizes and celebrates disordered eating. 

Ironically, I also considered myself to be a passionate foodie even though I rarely ate anything that wasn't on my diet-approved safe list. Instead, I took a lot of joy in watching others consume the foods I was excited about it.

Looking back now, I would describe my relationship with food as all-consuming, hypervigilant, calculated, rigid, black-and-white, moralistic, fraught, tense, isolating and utterly exhausting. 

I feel sad and regretful when I reflect on that time, and also incredibly grateful I got out of such an awful relationship.

Of course, some aspects of it were pleasurable, at least for brief moments until I reached the point of uncomfortable fullness (overeating is a natural response to food deprivation), and before my inner Food Police started shouting at me (“You were so bad! You need to make up for it!).

What Do You Want?
In addition to asking folks how they would describe their relationship with food, I also like to ask what type of relationship they would like to have.

Easy, guilt-free, peaceful, positive, pleasurable and neutral are just a few of the words that come to mind.

"I just want food to be food" is a common refrain.

When you reflect on this question, what comes up for you? 

And what’s standing in between where you are now and where you would like to be?