How I Stopped Dieting. I Couldn't Stand Myself.
/When I was at the grocery store the other day, I noticed the shelf was empty for a particular product, which wasn’t surprising. Over the years, I’ve observed this seems to be the case every January as many people embark on a popular diet that restricts a long list of foods. This out-of-stock product is one of the few foods allowed.
Although this diet program states it’s about wellness and not weight loss, the numerous people I know who have done it did so with the primary goal of losing weight. This is quite understandable considering the program promotes weight loss as an outcome despite lacking any sound scientific evidence to support this claim.
Nonetheless, I totally get why people do it. While I never did this specific program, I certainly jumped on the dieting bandwagon in the new year.
As we’re bombarded with diet culture messaging, including non-stop ads featuring seductive success stories and special promotions, it’s very tempting to hop on the bandwagon. Doing so is completely understandable given the pressure we feel from our weight-obsessed culture with its unrealistic body standards and tendency to equate thinness with health and moral virtue.
Lingering Desire to Diet
It may come as a surprise to learn that even after working for a while on healing my relationship with food and my body, I was still tempted every now and then to go on a diet.
My desire to diet didn’t just surface in the new year when it seemed like everyone else was also resolving to change their body. It would often arise whenever I was struggling with my body, including the times when I didn’t like my reflection in the mirror, how my clothes fit, how I looked in a photo or how my belly felt when I bent over.
I would immediately go into fix-it mode and think about all the ways I could correct what I believed was a problematic body. Maybe I should stop drinking wine. Perhaps I should cut out sweets, go gluten-free again, use smaller plates or count my macros. Adding more miles to my runs and doing more sit-ups might also help.
Thankfully, over time, my weight-loss strategy sessions became shorter and shorter in duration as I became more adept with hitting the breaks whenever I started experiencing body dissatisfaction and barreling down the fix-it path.
This Helped Me Stop
What helped me the most with stopping dieting was reminding myself why it wouldn’t be a good idea to start dieting again.
While I had come to understand that diets don’t lead to long-term weight loss for the majority of dieters, more than anything, I never again wanted to be the person I was when I was obsessed with my weight.
During that period of my life, all my time, energy and headspace were consumed by thoughts about what I ate, how I exercised and the number on the scale.
I was so preoccupied that it was hard to be fully present and engaged with my life. I neglected my relationships, my job and my social life. I avoided any situation where I was afraid I’d blow my diet or get off track with my exercise routine.
I snuck food and binged on my forbidden foods when I allowed myself to have them. I freaked out when I gained a pound or felt I ate badly then compensated by eating less and exercising more.
Naturally, since I was constantly policing my own eating, I often food policed other people’s food choices (ugh, this really makes me cringe!).
I treated my body like crap, ignoring its hunger, its cravings, its need for nourishment and rest.
I was tired, anxious, cranky, distracted and frankly, no fun to be around.
While well-intentioned, my dieting harmed my wellbeing and, regrettably, hurt those around me.
Reflecting on my life and the person I was when I was dieting gave me the determination and strength I needed to never diet again.
Make Peace Instead
While I've been anti-diet for many years now due to everything I've learned both personally and professionally, I completely believe in body autonomy including the right to diet.
However, I feel it’s important to know what the diet industry, including weight-loss companies and advocates, will never tell you, namely the numerous ways dieting can harm you, so you can make informed decisions.
They will certainly never warn you that for many people like myself, dieting is a gateway to disordered eating and exercise, and for some, to actual eating disorders.
Like me, you may find it helpful to reflect on your dieting history whenever you’re tempted to try another diet. I encourage you to take a moment to consider all the ways dieting has harmed you—and how your life may change if you made peace with food and your body instead.
