A Birthday Party Wrapped in Diet Culture

What role does diet culture play in your life?

From the bakery line, dinner table and workplace to classrooms, doctors’ offices, TV shows and social media, diet culture is everywhere.

It has become so prevalent, normalized and accepted that it’s easy to not see it or question its impact, including the harm it can cause.

It’s completely understandable if you’re not quite sure what diet culture is. It’s a term a lot of people are unfamiliar with. However, once you understand what it means, you start to see it everywhere, including in your own life.

Diet Culture Defined
So what exactly is diet culture?

In her book, Anti-Diet, Christy Harrison sums up diet culture as:

“A system of beliefs that...

• equates thinness, muscularity, and particular body shapes with health and moral virtue;

• promotes weight loss and body reshaping as a means of attaining higher status;

• demonizes certain foods and food groups while elevating others; and

• oppresses people who don’t match its supposed picture of ‘health.’”

Wrapped in Diet Culture
Harrison goes on to give examples of diet culture, including skipping a birthday party because you’re afraid you’ll have to eat cake.

To further illustrate what diet culture looks like, let’s expand on this birthday party scenario.

Imagine it’s your nephew’s tenth birthday. You don’t want to attend his party because you don’t like how you look and you’re afraid you’ll lose control with the food that’s served.

You decide to go regardless because you love your family and value spending time with them.

On your way there, you listen to one of your favorite podcasts, which is sponsored by a weight-loss program that promises fast results and a detox tea endorsed by a celebrity.

When you arrive, you overhear your mom congratulating a cousin on her recent weight loss because diet culture has taught us to applaud weight loss as if it's someone’s greatest life achievement.

You reflect on how your cousin might feel if she gains the weight back, which inevitably happens to the majority of dieters. You know this all too well having “failed” countless diets over the years.

To avoid any comments your mom might make regarding the weight you’ve gained during one of the most traumatic years of our lives, you head right to the snack table. Once there, you’re relieved to discover a platter of crudité as carrot sticks and bell pepper strips are on your current diet’s green-light list.

While putting some veggies on a plate, your aunt praises you for being such a healthy eater, which is understandable as diet culture has trained us to put healthy eaters on a pedestal.

She goes on to say how bad she is because of all the chips and crackers she’s been snacking on. It’s hard to pay attention to her because you’re distracted with thoughts about how you can sneak some chocolate candy when no one is looking.

As you nibble on your crudité, you scan the bookshelf and observe how many of the diet books you also own. You laugh to yourself as you reflect on how we once believed eating fat was the worst thing we could possibly do. How misguided we all were!

Everyone gathers around when it’s time to cut the cake. You notice your eight-year-old niece is jumping up and down and clapping her hands with excited anticipation, likely because her parents rarely allow sweets in their house because, well you know, sugar is poison.

As cake slices are being distributed, your brother declines a piece because he’s not eating carbs, your mom asks for just a sliver because she’s watching her figure, and your uncle announces while accepting a slice that today is his cheat day.

A neighbor chimes in exclaiming how sinfully good the cake is. She then admits she will need to make up for eating it by working out extra hard later. Many of the guests laugh and nod in agreement.

Meanwhile, you graciously take a piece of cake and then hide it in the trashcan when no one is around because you’re afraid that once you start eating it you’ll never stop.

Leaving the kitchen, you spot your niece quietly slip off to her bedroom with another plate of cake. You see yourself in her as you, too, started sneaking food when you were young to avoid getting in trouble for eating the foods you loved. You understood that eating those "bad" foods made you a bad kid, so of course you didn't want to get caught.

As the party wraps us, your sister-in-law attempts to send the leftover cake and snacks home with everyone because she doesn’t trust herself with all that food in the house, well, except for the raw vegetables.

Some family members talk about getting dinner after the party but your sister declines because she doesn’t eat after 6 p.m. You pass as well because you don’t want to be tempted to eat anything that’s off-plan, especially after being so good all day.

On the way home, exhausted from being so hyper-vigilant about your eating, you stop to pick up a salad because it sounds more appealing than the meal-replacement shake you’re supposed to have for dinner. You end up ordering pizza, breadsticks and a brownie because, understandably, you feel deprived and unsatisfied. While it all tastes delicious the experience is tainted by feelings of guilt and shame. You get angry with yourself for your lack of willpower and self-discipline.

In bed that night you scroll through Instagram looking at before-and-after photos, clean eating tips and bikini-body workouts while promising yourself that tomorrow you’ll get back on track.

Diet Culture's Harmful Impact
While everyone at the party meant well—after all, we all swim in this same toxic stew—most people don’t understand how damaging diet culture can be. The amount of harm and unnecessary suffering it causes is vast, from food fears and body mistrust to weight stigma and eating disorders.

More than anything, it keeps you from focusing on more meaningful, fulfilling things and participating fully in life.

You Can Opt Out
I believe in body autonomy, including the right to diet and eat however you want. However, if engaging with diet culture isn’t working for you, you can opt out.

Although diet culture is pervasive, you can minimize your participation in it, from unfollowing diet-culture accounts on social media and setting boundaries regarding diet and weight talk to reclaiming your ability to eat intuitively and embracing body diversity.

I think you’ll discover, as both my clients and I have, that by opting out of diet culture, you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders—and you’ll no longer be afraid of birthday parties.

For a deeper dive into diet culture, I highly recommend reading Anti-Diet. For a shorter read, check out this article. Both of these are great resources to share with friends and family members. If you want support with recovering from diet culture, I’m here for you.