My Food Police Spoiled My Vacations

Many years ago, my boyfriend and I were walking down a quiet cobblestone street in a small Turkish town when we encountered the most delicious aroma. Upon investigation, we discovered it was coming from a small, nondescript bakery on the side of the road.

We poked our heads in and were intrigued by a tray on the counter piled high with flakey, coiled pastries sprinkled with sesame seeds. We had no idea what they were and didn’t speak Turkish but eagerly bought one.

Back on the street, we tore into the roll. It was slightly sweet, crispy on the outside, and soft and tender on the inside.

Its flavor was unlike anything we’d ever tasted before. It took a minute to figure out the star ingredient was tahini and only seconds to decide we wanted more.

With our sticky fingers, we turned right back around, reentered the bakery and purchased more of those glorious rolls.

Momentarily Pleasurable
Unfortunately, this moment of pure pleasure didn’t last long.

It was quickly spoiled by my inner Food Police, the voice in my head that was always trying to make me feel bad, guilty and ashamed about my eating.

This critical, punitive voice berated me for eating something so caloric. It calculated all the miles I would need to run to make up for it. It told me it would be a good idea to skip dinner.

It made me feel remorseful, irritable and distracted.

All this relentless noise in my head turned me into a cranky travel companion and prevented me, and sadly my boyfriend, too, from fully enjoying the rest of our day.

Post-Vacation Compensation
My pastry experience was not unique. It happened over and over again on that vacation and many others with any food I considered bad, fattening or unhealthy.

Despite giving myself a “free pass” to eat whatever I wanted while traveling (WTH, I’m on vacation!), thanks to my dieting mindset, my eating was never truly free.

There was always a sense that I would have to pay for it, that I would need to undo the “damage” I had caused when I got home by restricting my eating and ramping up my exercise.

It’s understandable that I thought this way. Perhaps you have, too.

Diet culture with its anti-fat underpinning has normalized the belief that any sort of food “indulgence” needs to be compensated for with a diet, detox, cleanse, fast, workout, etc.

Just think about how many times you or your vacation companions have said something like “I’ll need to make up for all this eating when I get home!” or “My diet starts the day I return!” or “I’m cutting out carbs the minute I’m back!”

Because comments like these are so common and relatable thanks to our pervasive diet culture, most people will laugh, nod their heads in agreement and respond with a “Me too!” or “I hear ya!”

Guilt-Free Vacation Eating
What if it didn’t have to be this way? What if your vacation wasn’t tainted by worries about what you ate and how you’re going to make up for it? What if you could enjoy whatever you wanted and just move on?

Part of the process of making peace with food includes challenging your diet mentality and anti-fat bias, firing your inner Food Police, and truly giving yourself unconditional permission to eat—not just while you’re on vacation but every day of the year.

I absolutely love trying local foods when I travel. Doing so became so much more pleasurable once I healed my relationship with food and began eating with guilt-free gusto. It makes me wish I could go back to that bakery and do it all over.